The Tainting of Innocence
by Carasiel
Summary: A young Severus learns about unrequited love the hard way, and two of his best friends unknowingly place him on the road to becoming a Deatheater. **chapter three up** r+r please!
1. Heartbreak of a Snake

Disclaimer: Okay, okay…*mumbles* I don't own Harry Potter. There. Happy? *runs into a corner and cries*

A/N: I've been in a writing-mood today, and I dunno where the hell this came from, but I had Box Car Racer- There Is on constant repeat when I was writing it.

Review please! ^^

#Arien#

The Tainting of Innocence

It was six o 'clock in the morning on Christmas Day, snow was falling lightly over Hogwarts, the grounds and castle were covered in a thick blanket of snow, and fourteen year old Severus Snape stood staring across the iced over lake in shock.

His best friend, Lily Evans, had just ran up to James Potter and threw her arms around his neck, before he covered her face with kisses.

Severus watched, his eyes filled with hurt, disappointment and envy, as James took her gloved hand in his and kissed it, before pulling her onto the ice.

From the beginning of Lily and James' sixth year, Severus had noticed a close friendship growing between his best friend and his flying tutor, but had said nothing, casting it aside as just that: a close friendship.

And yet, as he watched them from behind a large oak tree, he wondered why he could only notice the obvious lies in retrospect.

Lily and James had been put together as Potions partners, and from the first Potions lesson of that year, being in the same House had drew them closer together. Lily had started to abandon she and Severus' study sessions, explaining that she was going to go and help the James devise new tactics for the Gryffindor Quidditch team (he was the Team Captain), and when he'd asked to join them, she'd told him that the other Gryffindors wouldn't allow it because they'd think he was spying for his House.

During Lily's first dance with Severus at the Halloween Ball, James had arrived and asked if he could intervene, and for the rest of the evening she had danced with the Gryffindor, while Severus sat at their table watching them, telling himself at the beginning of every new song, the next would bring his turn to dance with her.

The two Gryffindors had also started to spend most of the Hogsmeade weekends walking around the grounds, with Lily explaining to Severus that they were going to visit Hagrid. It would have been a bad idea for him to accompany them, as the Groundskeeper had an unprovoked and utmost dislike for the younger Slytherin. So meanwhile, he had sat in the library, or wandered around Hogsmeade alone.

And now, Severus stood staring at the couple, his eyes brimming with tears and once again, very much  alone. 

They'd lied to him. They'd _betrayed_ him.

Lily had probably only gone to the Halloween Ball with him because she'd pitied him because no one else would.

'That was if she ever had actually been friends with me', Severus thought bitterly.

His silky chin-length hair whipped around his face in the wind as he stepped out from behind the tree. The couple stood about one hundred yards away from the tree, and looked up at the movement.

'Don't pity me!' Severus screamed inwardly, as their faces softened, noting his tear-filled eyes and hurt expression.

"Sevvie, what're you doing out here? Shouldn't you be opening your presents with your friends?" Lily asked gently.

The younger boy stepped back, almost as if her words had burned him. He looked down at the floor and shook his head.

"Why not?" she asked, misinterpreting it as an answer.

He shook his head more violently, stepped back and looked up at the two of them, his eyes on the brink of bursting with tears.

"You just don't get it…because I was friends with you, you two _were_ my only friends!" he cried as tears began to stream from his eyes, before turning and running up the hill back to the castle.

"Were? We still are!" James cried after him in confusion.

"Sev, what's wrong?" Lily called desperately.

He didn't hear any of it, the blood pumping in his ears drowning out any other sounds as burst into the castle. Stopping in the entrance hall, he glanced around frantically, unsure of where he could go for privacy. 

In his overload of emotion, he failed to notice his accidental exploding of the light bulb. He heard shouts coming from the Great Hall, and, terrified someone would see his tears, started running up the stairs, straight past a confused Dumbledore.

Severus had no idea where he was going, until he found himself looking over the wall of the Tower, staring down at the icy lake where Lily and James had been, tears streaming down his face and freezing before they reached the ground below. His small, thin body shook with the force of his sobs, as he felt the remaining pieces of his innocent heart breaking.

He felt so small, so pathetic and young. They were only one year older than him, but suddenly it felt like five. 

How could he have ever been so stupid, to think that Lily could ever have liked him? Ever have been so foolish as to have written the poems and letters he had dreamed of having the courage to send someday, along with the pathetic hope that when he did, she'd tell him she felt the same.

And then there was something other than his unrequited love that had hurt him even deeper. The reality of his best friend, his only friend, wishing that when she was in his company, she was dreaming of being with another; that suddenly, his companionship wasn't good enough for him to offer. 

A bitter, self-hating sob burst from his chest as he cursed himself for his selfishness.

A hand fell upon his shoulder, stirring him from his thoughts. He quickly wiped his face on the back of his hand and sniffed, before whirling around, his wand drawn and pointed at the place where the person's neck should've been. Only, Severus was faced with a much taller wizard. The much taller wizard being a concerned Albus Dumbledore.

The Fourth Year blushed and immediately stuffed it back into his sleeve.

"Headmaster," he mumbled, ducking his head.

"Severus, you are allowed to be young and in love. Just as Lily and James are. They are happy, and as their friend, you, in turn, should be happy for them." The Headmaster chided, defensive of his Gryffindors and suspicious of the boy's plans of vengeance which he presumed he had already begun to plot.

Suddenly, Severus felt even smaller, and tried to swallow the growing lump in his throat.

Damn Gryffindor bias, damn House rivalry and damn House stereotypes. The Headmaster, had the boy been in any other House, would have been anything but cold. 

He would've probably been invited up to his office to talk it out over lemon drops and hot chocolate, Severus decided.

"Severus," the old wizard was using that threatening tone again. "I want you to swear that you will leave them alone," he commanded, an aura of power appearing out of nowhere around the Headmaster, his piercing blue eyes fixed intensely on the young Slytherin.

"Yes Sir," he whispered, his voice thick with unshed tears.

The Headmaster reached out for him, concern written all over his face. Severus winced and recoiled.

"You needn't worry, Headmaster, I wouldn't ever touch your precious Gryffindors," the boy choked, before running back out of the Tower and into the maze of corridors that is Hogwarts.

The Headmaster stood in the Tower for a long while, staring out over the grounds, while the Slytherin retreated back into the dungeons, already plotting the breaking of his promise. At least, that's how the Headmaster saw it. 

And yet, a small part of his heart told him that sometime in the future, he'd deeply regret that belief.

#~#~#

There you have it.

Ickle Severus welcomes any hugs you have for him!

Review please ^^

#Arien#


	2. Ignorance Is Bliss

Disclaimer: See first chapter.

A/N: Ty for the reviews!!! Originally I was going to leave it as it was, but you managed to persuade me otherwise ^_______^ Though I dunno if I'll do another chapter…I have a plotbunny bouncing around my mind, but I can resist them easily, so I dunno, it depends :$...

#Arien#

####

The Tainting of Innocencep

'_Accio__, cloak and broom!' Severus commanded, his voice strained with unshed tears. The two items flew up the stairs from the Fourth Year Slytherin dormitory, and he wrapped the cloak around him tightly, before taking the broom under one arm and walking out into the cold of the day. He kicked off, rather shakily than normal, and soared up into the air. Passing the Quidditch stadium, he saw Sirius Black trying to teach Peter Pettigrew to stay upright on his broom._

Not wanting to be seen, he dipped down until he was flying a few metres above the thick blanket of snow. The cold winds whipped at the sensitive skin of his cheeks and his eyes watered with cold.

Yet he had cast a warming charm over himself before he had left and he did not have a general resistance to charms… He wasn't sure until he started to shake uncontrollably, narrowly avoiding a collision with a large oak tree. Suddenly, flying didn't seem like such a good idea. Severus landed and shrunk his broomstick, putting it into the pocket of his winter robes. Glancing around at his surroundings, he found he had reached the wall which bordered Hogwarts and the path to Hogsmeade. He brushed the snow off the wall and sat down, gazing over Hogsmeade.

'It looks like a winter-wonderland' Severus thought absent-mindedly as he glanced back at the castle. Words and phrases chased around his mind in a subconscious attempt to keep his mind occupied.

Shaking his head, he frowned as his silky black hair fell in front of his face, the raven blackness a disorientating contrast against the background of snow. His black-brown eyes filled with tears once more, as long dark eyelashes swept gracefully across his pale cheeks, his eyes lowered to the floor.

If only he'd realised how beautifully tragic he looked in that moment. Perhaps it would've prevented the violent sob of self-loathing to well up in his throat.

Insults and accusations whirled around his mind, his very mind chastising him.

How could he; what had Lily and James done for him; couldn't the arrogant, selfish bastard think of someone besides himself for once; he could never have what they shared, not even a part, and if he did, then he felt sorry for the girl he shared it with.

No, all in all, he was better off alone.

Not like it was his choice, anyway. None of the other students besides Lily and James spoke to him. 

And Dumbledore…Severus gritted his teeth. The biased old git! How could he be so completely uncaring of his students?! How could he be so blind?! 

Why couldn't his omniscience reveal that Severus wasn't like the others. He wasn't a true Slytherin.

Merlin only knew what possessed the Sorting Hat to put him in Slytherin, anyway…

His subconscious once again dragged him from the topic at hand, not wanting him to think clearly.

He found himself feeling strangely grateful for it.

As the final tear rolled down his cheek, he pushed all thoughts of Lily and James from his mind and began to religiously recite the Twelve Uses of Dragon's Blood like a mantra.

Yes, he thought, ignorance _was_ bliss.

#####

Should I continue or not? :$ 

Tell me what you think I should do :$

#Arien#


	3. No Guilt

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

A/N: Yessum...I really enjoyed writing this chapter ^_^

In fact, I've enjoyed writing all of them so far. Younger Sevvie is one of my favourite characters, soo...and I'm babbling, so I'll shut up now.

Ty so much to my reviewers- I'm working from my laptop right now, so I can't thank you all individually today ^^;;

-No Guilt-

Severus' eyes glittered as they reflected the stars and the moon in the clear obsidian blue sky.

His tears had long since subsided and he had discovered that if he sat still long enough, the numbing cold of his body practically numbed the painful throbs of his heart.

It would be teatime soon, and he hadn't even opened his presents...

How could he face them?

Lily, James, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew...

The others he could and did put up with on a daily basis. 

With a small sigh, he clenched and unclenched his fists a few times before sliding off the wall and picking up his broomstick. Kicking off into the air, his stomach did a few somersaults as he approached the castle.

Would they try to talk to him?

What would he do if they did?

Worse, what would Dumbledore do to him if he refused to be 'happy for them'?

###

Severus climbed the stairs leading up from the dungeons. He wore a silk white dress shirt, a pair of black trousers and a v-neck dark green jumper of chenille. Around his neck hung a gift from his older sister, a silver pendant with a jewelled snake wrapped around an 'S'.

Stepping up to the door, he trembled inwardly, swallowed the growing lump in his throat and turned the doorknob.

Besides him, there were nine students staying for the holidays.

All but one of the fifth year Gryffindors- James, Lily (his throat tightened when his eyes grazed over them), Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew.

Two fourth year Ravenclaws, a first year Hufflepuff, a third year Ravenclaw and a seventh year Gryffindor.

The students and teachers were sitting around a large round table on top of the platform, all chattering merrily and full of Christmas cheer.

Severus felt sick as his suspicions about him not belonging there were confirmed.

Luckily, none of them had noticed his entrance, and he hastily darted towards the door. Just as he raised his hand to turn the doorknob and escape to freedom, Dumbledore's magnified voice called across the hall.

"Ah, Mr. Snape! We were beginning to get worried! Come and join us." he invited merrily.

Severus' heart sank. Slowly turning round, he found all eyes on him and shifted uncomfortably, ducking his head.

"That's alright, Sir, really. I only came by to see if my cat was here. I don't really feel awfully hungry right now, so, I'm going to go back to-"

"Mr. Snape. It is not nice to spend Christmas alone in the Dungeons, is it? Not when you can have a meal with dear _friends_. Come and sit down." The Headmaster's voice had taken on a subtle, but chilling, edge.

"Y-yes Sir..." Severus replied quietly, ducking his head even more so his chin-length hair fell in front of his face and padding over to the table, blinking back tears of frustration and humiliation.

He sat down in the empty seat between one of the fourth year Ravenclaws and the first year Hufflepuff.

As he unfolded his napkin, he glanced up.

Straight into a pair of brilliant green eyes.

Inwardly, he screamed in agony.

What was Dumbledore trying to do- kill him?

'The old fool' he thought savagely, agony being replaced by frustration as he mashed his potatoes, imagining squishing the old bastard's brain through the ridiculous polka-dot wizard hat which he had just donned after pulling a cracker with Professor McGonagall.

"Stupid old fool," someone muttered beside him.

Severus looked up in surprise.

"What?"

"He's a stupid old fool. Completely biased, of course," the Ravenclaw girl beside him scowled.

"Of course. If I'd been a Gryffie, then I'd be tucked up in bed with House Elves waiting on hand and foot in some secret chamber of his quarters." Severus replied darkly.

"I don't see how he gets away with treating us like that. It's like his –supposedly ingenious- brain can only process two things regarding his students." she said.

"Really? I'm impressed. Didn't think it could process _anything_ regarding his students," Severus snorted. "What would the two things be, anyway?"

"Gryffies and Huffies= good. Slytherins and Ravenclaws= bad." she replied with a small ironic grin.

He returned it with an appreciative smirk.

"I'm Lyra Caesar, by the way."

"Severus Snape," he obliged, shaking her hand.

"_Of _course. _You're_ the most advanced Potions student, running right up to the sixth year level," Lyra replied with a sliver of admiration as she flicked a strand of hair from her eyes.

"I see you've heard of me," he grinned.

The two fourth years ate in a companionable silence for a few minutes.

"That's a beautiful pendant, Sevvie. Who gave it to you?" an agonizingly familiar voice asked.

Severus almost dropped his fork.

She'd actually done it. 

She'd tried to talk to him.

'Forget that,' he thought angrily.

"My sister, Samantha. Why would you want to know?" he asked with a sneer.

"Sevvie...what do you...what's wrong?" Lily asked, her green eyes reflecting her hurt and concern.

Damn her kind heart.

"My stomach. Forgive it for not appreciating being force-fed when it'd feel much more settled in the quiet of the Dungeons." he sneered.

The students and Professors fell silent.

"Now _really_, Mr. Snape! How dare you insult the Headmaster's hospitality in such a disrespectful manner?!" Professor McGonagall, the Head of Gryffindor cried indignantly.

"Now, now, Minerva. The boy has a point. He would recover faster if he were to retire to his dormitory for the evening." Professor Ivy, the Head of Slytherin protested, somewhat protective of her shrew of a Slytherin.

Dumbledore clapped his hands.

"Fine, Mr. Snape. If it is your will, you may reject our hospitality and throw away your last two chances at friendship." he offered sadly, his light blue eyes reflecting pain.

'If he expects me to feel guilty, he can forget it. I may not seem like a true Slytherin, but I'll be damned if he gets away with humiliating me like this and doing little less than throwing his weight around.'

Severus stood up and dropped his napkin onto his plate.

"Thank you, Headmaster," he sneered, before walking out of the Hall.

The table sat in silence for a few moments.

No one had actually believed he would take up the offer.

###

Whatcha think?

Hhhmm...I guess I'll write maybe two more chapters on this, if that. My original plans went out the window, when I wrote this chapter, soo...

R+r!!

#Arien#


	4. Sneering Pain

A/N: Thanks to my reviewers ^_^ Hope you all had a great Christmas!

The next day, Severus was woken by the sound of loud banging and a heated argument.

Getting out of bed, he quickly got dressed and cast a detangling spell on his hair, before making his way to the source of the racket.

"-I simply _cannot_ grant you entry! Bugger off back to your _own_ common room, girl!" Severus heard the ghoul ,which guarded the entrance to the Snake's Den, roared furiously.

"Bloody _shut up_!" a familiar voice snarled. "_Stupify!_"

Severus stuck his head out from behind the blocked passageway to find himself face to face with the Ravenclaw from the day before.

"Snape," she breathed in surprise.

"Is there any reason why you woke me up by trying to fight your way into the Slytherin common room?" he asked irritably.

Siara scowled and threw her head back defiantly.

"As a matter of fact, yes. I came to tell you that appearing at breakfast this morning may be worth your while," she explained, before smirking and darting away.

Severus stared after her, puzzled.

###

Severus sat down at the empty Slytherin table and ducked his head down, only glancing up when he felt a pair of eyes burning into his head. Siara smirked proudly at him with a mischievous glint in her eye.

The doors of the Great Hall threw open, announcing the noisy arrival of the fifth year Gryffindor boys. They proudly made their way to the Gryffindor table, receiving adoring looks from all but two pairs of eyes in the hall.

Lily, Severus noted, wasn't with them.

"Snape!" someone coughed.

He looked up quickly and met eyes with Siara, who pointedly looked at the Gryffindor table.

Intrigued, he watched them carefully.

Time seemed to slow as each of the Gryffindors took places at the table. Reaching for their goblets, they raised them for a toast. As they came together, the crystal goblets exploded and burst into flames in their hands, sending shards of crystal into their skin, accompanied by ash and burns. Their faces were covered in ash as they tried desperately to remove the embedded shards, crying out in pain.

The onlookers, excluding the teachers, burst into fits of laughter, some crying with mirth.

Tears of laughter streamed down Severus' cheeks as he watched James painfully remove his broken glasses and exchange embarrassed, bewildered glances with his friends.

Siara smirked at Severus triumphantly.

After recovering, Severus sat finishing his meal. He was again disturbed by the loud opening of the doors. Glancing up vaguely, he froze in mid-bite as he watched Lily approach him.

"Sevvie, I-"

"What do you want?" he demanded, cutting her off sharply. Insults began racing through his mind. 

'Ah...which to pick?' he thought absent-mindedly. 

"I merely wanted to come and ask if you were okay, Sevvie," she replied, a wounded expression on her face.

Severus' lip curled into a sneer.

"'Merely' indeed. Ever mere is a Mudblood such as yourself, when in the presence of a Pureblood." he smirked.

Inwardly, he congratulated himself as he watched her face contort into an expression of dejected horror.

"What the hell has happened to you, Sevvie?" she asked, her voice laced with tears.

"You," he whispered venomously, an underlining blanket thick with scathing hatred clearly audible in his voice.

Lily burst into tears and ran out of the hall, James at her heels.

Siara moved over from her table to sit with him, raising her glass to him.

"Nice one, Snape," she congratulated quietly.

Severus smiled.

###

Hmm...I might make this the last chapter. I've got another one written but I don't know if it'd be best to leave it like this as it is.

r+r!

#Arien#


	5. Not So Bad

Disclaimer: See chapter one.

A/N Okies, you've convinced me. I also got a sudden idea while editing this chapter ^^;;

#Arien#

"Alright Snape! I know you cursed the goblets this morning!" Sirius Black snarled, after Severus turned the corner and found himself face to face with the older boy. "And I know what you called Lily. You miserable little greaseball- she and James were the only people in the entire school who put up with you! You ungrateful little rat!" he yelled, lifting his wand.

"Stup-" Sirius began. But Severus was too riled up and too quick. Muttering a silencing charm, then an extremely painful Dark-curse under his breath, he watched the older boy's face contort into fear as it hit him full on. Sirius dropped to the floor, opening his mouth in a silent scream as his muscles began to twitch, his body wracked with agony.

"Finite Incantatem!" Severus cried after a minute or so. Sirius lay shaking and twitching on the floor. He weakly raised his head to look up at him with shock and pain written all over his face.

"Y-you are g-going t-to...p-pay for that, S-snape," he stuttered, his voice barely above a whisper and laced with pain.

"Right. I'd like to see your pathetic Auror parents even _try_ it...besides, if you breathe a word to anyone, I'll let the entire school know about the snogging session you tried to start with me when you were drunk at the Halloween Ball." he smirked. Severus' malicious grin grew even wider as horror and fear filled the older boy's eyes.

"Have fun, Black," he sneered. "_Stupeify!_"

Dragging the fifth year's unconscious form backwards to the foot of the staircase, he arranged it to appear as though he'd slipped.

"You are brilliant, Snape," a voice breathed directly behind him. Spinning round, he found his wand pressing against the neck of Siara. Pressure on his chest told him that her reflexes weren't so bad either. Looking up at her, he noticed a glint in her eyes which he had never noticed before.

"But you could be amazing," she continued, lowering his wand.

"How do you mean?" Severus asked, intrigued.

Reaching into her robes, she withdrew a small, leather-bound book. "Fight fire with fire," she explained, holding it out for him to take.

Reading the title, Severus' face became unreadable.

'Survival In Dark Times: Legal Dark Duelling'.

Siara walked behind him to glance around the corner.

"Where did you get that?" he asked, a hint of an amused smile tugging at his lips, tracing the spine with his index finger finger.

"I got it off a friend." she replied. He glanced up at her curiously, only to meet eyes with an older Slytherin, by the name of Lucius Malfoy, who was standing beside her. Lucius eyed him calculatingly, offering his hand. Severus allowed him to shake his own thin, pale hand in a surprisingly firm grip.

"Lucius Malfoy, meet Severus Snape," Siara introduced, smiling triumphantly.

Perhaps the next few years wouldn't be so torturous, after all.

###

R+r please!

#Arien#


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